Compassion: A Participation Essay

Three Masters
Best I can remember, I was about ten years old when my Dad came home with her. She was a mixed-breed, black, brown, and white beauty. I named her Snoopy. Yes, I actually taught her how to lay on top of her doghouse. She was an ‘outside’ dog and followed me everywhere. She was a well-known entity around the town. One day she and I were cruising a neighborhood street. A little boy whom I did not know came running out to greet her. His mom called out, “Don’t touch that dog, it might bite you.” Without missing a step he called back, “That’s ‘Noopy! ‘Noopy won’t bite me.”

Unfortunately Snoopy’s freedom ended when our town instituted a leash ordinance. Dad and I set up a wire run where we could attach her leash. She was miserable. And so was I, having to travel on my purple Schwinn® Stingray without her alongside. Consequently, after much thought, we loaded her up and drove to my Grandfather’s property about 125 miles north. The two of them became the best of friends. My Grandfather swore Snoopy could understand his every word, and that she, in her own language, conversed with him. She lived the last years of her life very happily. She remained an outside dog cruising the pastures and nearby homes until her peaceful death at a ripe old dog age.

While I’ve had many dogs in my life, Snoopy and two others have had the most impact. Freckles came along as part of our daughter’s fifteenth birthday. Freckles was a liver and white Springer Spaniel. We met her in Youngstown, Ohio when she was six weeks old. Love at first sight is an understatement. She was with us for over 13 years in three states. She was a wonderful family dog, but she and my wife Becky were inseparable, and ridiculously close friends. Like Snoopy, she was always glad to see you. Heck, you could leave the room, come back, and her sweet little tail would wag like you’d been gone for days. Her passing impacted us so that we haven’t ventured another dog since.

However, we’ve been blessed with a third sweet spirit. BB is our daughter’s pup. He is a 13 year old Yorkie Terrier, and blessedly, because our daughter is temporarily living with us, we get to share in the cuddly love this little 7 pound pup offers throughout each day. He just walked in to check on me as I type this.

“Reality cannot be controlled, but it can be lived fully, or it can be unsuccessfully avoided in fear. Animals are the masters of living and dying fully.” —Martin Prechtel

I begin an essay on compassion with these three dogs, three beautiful spirits, because of what is obvious to me; unconditional love — free compassion and present gentleness.

Gentle Disclaimer
Being gentle with self, quieting the thoughts (allowing them to float on by), and with tenderness touching one’s own spirit, is the way to gentleness with others. At the same time, gentleness with another is also beautiful support of gentleness with one’s own being.

“A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals and you know it.” —Agent K (Men in Black, 1997)

I lose my balance on the wire of thin tolerance for what I believe is stupid. This usually occurs  upon hearing opinionated words issuing from narrow thinking and identification with one group or another. Such is the reason that, for many years, I’ve focused my efforts on the individual. One group or another can only accomplish good and right things when made up of individuals who act on what is good and right for them to do.

I began writing this essay and then stalled. What stopped me was self-judgment, a self-assessment of my level of compassion. I didn’t see myself as a compassionate individual. Eventually I called BS. I am compassionate. Like anyone, I often let opinions and feelings get in the way of how my compassion shows itself. But when it comes down to it, when the rubber meets the road, I act on what I know is good and right for me to do — what is good and right from the core of my Trueness. What I’ve realized over time is that what I’ve failed to notice is the compassionate flow. Compassion comes from the inside and expresses itself externally in gentleness.

A Compassionate Sphere
I come to this essay months since the one previous. I really have no words, but here I continue regardless. I suppose I arrive here with frustration, and other feelings. About what? I really don’t know. Yes, specific things could I name, but in reality I know such things are products, creations, of a deeper something at play. So I must let go of the things and sit with the energy behind it all.

This energy doesn’t have a name, and I will not assign it one. Naming is a distraction and allows one to be pulled away by the feelings. Feelings are reactions to emotions that are brought about by the story in which one is trapped. I’m not sure if this is helping or not. Maybe it doesn’t have to. Maybe writing this is simply part of sitting with the energy. Yes, there are world events and issues, and conditions in our country that are concerning, but they are not any cause of my own uneasiness. I take complete and full responsibility for this dis-ease in my spirit. And I pray for ease.

Becky and I were coming home from a pandemic-get-out-of-the-house outing, driving home via the beautiful Natchez Trace that runs right by our neighborhood. I was looking straight ahead as I drove, seeing a paved Parkway curving through lovely land and beautiful trees declaring the season. It occurred to me all this was built, and made, on a sphere suspended in the space of a galaxy, itself spinning and moving within a great Universe. Followed by a thought of how stupid we as humans behave on this tiny round speck in a grand Universe — a magnificent, sprawling territory of infinite possibility; possibility squandered by our lack of ability to see miraculous beauty and endless opportunity.

Quiet Energy
Silence, I’m learning, is a spiritual energy critical to truly let go—releasing the grip I have on old ways of thinking and old thinking’s grip on me. The story now in control is one of grace. Yes, the story now in control is one of grace, not old storylines from either early childhood or false teaching along the way. In this story of grace is the strength of compassion, a gentle, loving-kindness shown to self and therefore to another. It is hard to give to another what you don’t hold for yourself. This is a basic principle behind all my work and writing of the last twenty years.

Stepping back, as it were,
one by one,
letting go of things,
bit by bit,
enjoying the silence.

But in the quiet, in the beginning,
of stepping away,
a constant hum noticed.
It’s insistence not ignored,
nor persistence pursued.

Now for some time, silence operates
just above the steady, vibrating hum;
like the low song of cicadas early
on a Mississippi morning.

And now realizing, thanks to
a collaborative heart of friendship,
the hum is recognized rhythm;
the heartbeat of who I am.

Further realized
in the rhythm
compassion, love
for oneself,
and all, as one.

I pray I will no longer hope (wait) for a reality other than the one that is. I pray I can learn peace in the moment, a peace that allows me to stand in the space of reality, with the energy present in and with each opportunity. I’m a stellar listener—to other people. But I must be a stellar listener to opportunity presented in any given moment. It is such opportunity, that when truly heard, informs what action I must take, what I must do, even if that is nothing. Then, to let that go, and move on. All this in love. That is my prayer.

“The basic ground of compassionate action is the importance of working with rather than struggling against.” —Pema Chodron

When one does what is good and right, gently informed by one’s Trueness, and places such action into the flow, this becomes a demonstration of trust. This is a challenging level of trust, a level that says you are okay with maybe never even knowing the outcome of your action.

If I Could See the Wind

The movement
of things invisible,
if my eyes could see,
present amazement
I might behold.

But truth, if known,
and visible the movement
of all things now seen,
the fears I carry,
heavier made
by the new things
that would be exposed.

And now seeing,
most likely
I’d step aside,
dodging the unknown
now made known,
missing the blessing
of these things
once blowing
right through me.

Notes:

Prechtel, Martin. The Smell of Rain on Dust: Grief and Praise. Berkeley: North Atlantic Books, 2015. (P. 129)

Men in Black. Directed by Barry Sonnenfield, Columbia Pictures, 1997. Film.

Chodron, Pema. Comfortable with Uncertainty: 108 Teachings on Cultivating Fearlessness and Compassion. Boulder: Shambhala Publications, 2018. (P. 54, #48, Slogan: Change Your Attitude, But Remain Natural)

 

Work: A Participation Essay

In the 5thgrade I wrote an essay entitled, The Therapy of Work. I suppose the commitment to do my part in influencing our places of work to be more animated with love, abundance, and freedom goes back a few years. Many years later my Mom gave me a box packed with artwork I had done through my growing years. In the box was the composition.

As I set out to write an essay on Love, I had every intention of letting the words find me, lead me actually, and guide me deep into self where I know love began for me. And that the words did. Surprisingly however, I found myself back again reflecting from the experience of this work I do, and in full truth, from the varying forms of work I’ve known for more years than I care to state. That 5th grade essay on work as therapy was either some form of youthful wisdom, or a cultural voice preparing me for life to come. It is most likely both.

Curse or Course?

I remember a time, when my journey with occupational activity was not going so well, when I developed a theology about work based on Adam and Eve being expelled from the Garden of Eden. I determined, in relation to Adam, that work was the curse cast upon me; that this was the way it was supposed to be, and would remain so.

I certainly did not start out with this mindset, as when I was around 13 years of age I sold toys in the days before Christmas at the store my grandmother managed, or when at that age I ran my own lawn care service in my hometown. I don’t remember when I began to come out of the curse mindset, but I’m sure my evolving belief was driven by the survival instinct of soul. Why would anyone live under a curse when there was an option for freedom? Was it a choice between pessimism and optimism? Or was it a decision to act consciously and live within my own Trueness?

Thankfully yes, it was a choice in the forward course of optimism. And while unconscious and unaware at first, it was an outward decision to live within Trueness. But when composing an essay on Love, why did I write about work?

As a child I was very introverted, a combination of personality traits and chronic asthma limiting my exposure in the larger world. I spent a large quantity of time alone entertaining myself. Later offering my services of yard maintenance to neighbors began to teach me disciplined interaction with others as I built those working relationships. Then working at my grandmother’s store, selling to those shopping for children, opened me to a different form of relational transaction. It seems that maybe that essay in the 5th grade was not done with me.

And then there’s the challenge with love; the one that tells us how easy it is to love those who love us, who are easy to love. And that love is at its truest when we also love those who do not necessarily return love, or who at first, biased look don’t seem lovable. So maybe in my youth, work was a more open space for learning in this challenging course of love broadened.

Purpose and Work
Work is not just about a job; a set of responsibilities for which one is compensated from monetary resources. If one allows, it is a classroom of university proportions, providing the environment for learning and the field for application and tangible practice.

Later in my journey with work, as my accountabilities began to include direct leadership of others, I developed a theology to drive my methodology with which I would offer and provide an environment of optimism and forward progress. I would tell my people that, considering a normal full-time workweek in the U.S., and at least a bit of commute, we spend nearly two-thirds of our waking life at this thing called work. And because of this, I would ensure an environment supportive of individual fulfillment in the work and expect each one to take advantage of the consequent, personal opportunities.

Besides the fact that not everyone may feel it, I believe everyone needs to know purpose in the work. From my experience working with individuals to shed conscious light on core values, I’ve seen two basic camps when it comes to the value of purpose. There are those who when clear on vision and/or direction bring a natural propensity of purpose to the process of work before them. Then there are those who have an innate drive to more fully understand purpose as the motivation for any action. I warm at the fire of the latter.

“The modern world, with its prodigious growth of complexity, weighs incomparably more heavily upon the shoulders of our generation than did the ancient world upon the shoulders of our forebears. Have you never felt that this added load needs to be compensated for by an added passion, a new sense of purpose? To my mind, this is what is “providentially” arising to sustain our courage−the hope, the belief that some immense fulfillment lies ahead of us.” −Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

Work: A Laboratory for Love
In the essay on Love I talked about the message I was about to send some of the individuals I’ve been privileged to work with through the last 17 years. I’m well into that process and hearing back from some of them as I write this essay. In each message I shared my hope of impact, that each one with whom I’ve worked has felt the power of desire and intent, their own desire and intent as a leader and what I have desired and intended for them from the beginning: that each one embrace the power of who they are as they lovingly lead others to their own authentic confidence, while acting on their own Trueness. And I certainly want to believe that my mission, to work with leaders like them for the sake of more love and abundance in the workplace, has helped them to make their impact.

Here is part of a response from one of the message recipients:

“When I put [him] in charge of his team, he asked me what he needed to succeed. I told him to work hard, to be disciplined and to bring passion to his work. I also told him to respect his people and to love his people. If he did that, I told him, your people will walk through fire for you. As I look back over my career and my life, I see that inherent truth with blinding clarity.” −Steve

Through the years, my evolved belief about work, and love for a work and love in the work, may be my own personal brand of optimism; a protective position pulling me out of the dark valleys and grounding me at the peaks, keeping me safe from the cliff edge of hubris. This I know; developing love in a work, seeing purpose in the energy expended, and learning what it looks like to love those with whom I’ve worked, has sustained and held me for many years.

So when writing the essay on Love, why did my words gravitate to the work experience? I’ve experienced great love throughout my personal life, knowing unconditional love from so many wonderful spirits. I entered the realm of work knowing the grace of what it means to be loved, and the enthusiasm from within that feeds on such graceful love. From early on then, I wanted to learn my place in the work world; learning to stand confidently in the bright blend of purpose and love. Through a purposeful, and then passionate, approach to work, I knew others simply needed my love.

Notes:

Teilhard de Chardin, Pierre.. The Future of Man. New York: Image Books-Doubleday, 1964.